July 21, 2000

Dear Martha:

All too often, the developmentally disabled adults I see do not have any sisters or brothers involved in the person’s life.

My brother Mark and I used to buddy around together. We would go out shopping, and he would buy gifts for people. He would buy wrapping paper, and buy a card, and he loved it.

This sort of thing, it takes nothing out of your life, and it brings joy to it.

I would usually pick him up on a Friday, and he would stay at my apartment for the weekend. We would go to church together on Sunday. He used to help me change the choir robe stoles at church. He liked to be with people and have fun, just like everyone else.

When he was alive, all my brothers and sisters promised they would take him out somewhere soon. But they never did. There were nine of us kids, and I was the only one who would take him places and do things with him. In 1990, at his funeral, they all kind of wished they would have done more with him. It’s a shame, because our lives get so busy. And he was no problem. He was like your brother Nathan, he talked and read, he was a good buddy.

Brothers and sisters often don’t get involved with a sibling who is developmentally disabled. Maybe their lives just get so busy. But it’s the same case in so many families that I talk to.

Kathy Morris, Parrish Ministry Consultant
Bethesda Lutheran Homes and Services
(248) 689-6871
kmorris@blhs.org